Showing posts from August, 2011

Post-Punitive Parenting

December 2020: I read this essay and added commentary for Episode 440 of the Everything Voluntary podcast. My wife and I have jumped feet first into a parenting style that is contrary to conventional wisdom and everything we've done the list 6 years. It's also contrary to how I was raised. Not so much for me wife, thank goodness. That style? It's called " Unconditional Parenting ", and it's creator is Alfie Kohn . The subtitle of Kohn's book summarizes it nicely, "Moving from rewards and punishments to love and reason." Moving From Rewards and Punishments I've spanked my son. I've put him in time-out. I've even put my almost-2-year-old daughter in time-out. I've yelled. I've shouted. I've been as mean as I can be in order to get compliance out of my children. I've been a monster, and I created a monster in my wife. She's spanked, she's used time-out, and she's been loud and controlling as well. Bu