When kids make mistakes, even a mistake as simple as being annoying around the wrong person, they are either yelled out, cursed, slapped, spanked, or caged (often a mix of several such reactions) by their parents. In other words, they are treated as second-class human beings, undeserving of unconditional love and respect by regular human beings.
And yet, through it all, kids come back, again and again, to those that disrespect them like it never happened. They are so quick to forgive and forget. If I was yelled at, cursed, slapped, spanked, or caged for making a mistake toward another adult, I would probably disassociate and have nothing ever to do with that adult for the rest of my life. Adults expect respect from other adults, and when they don't get it, they go their separate ways.
But children, it's not 20 minutes before they're wanting to jump and play and giggle with the one who was just violent with them. It's like it never happened. Considering this, it's quite the sobering task to contemplate the following:
"Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven."
"Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."
"Little children are holy, being sanctified through the atonement of Jesus Christ."
And finally:
"Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven."
Adults war with one another, defraud, assault, rape, and murder each other, and lie, cheat, and steal. Constantly. The world is full of these depredations committed by adults. Children don't do any of these things. They are literally "holy" and unless we become as "little children", we are destined to suffer. Despite our poor actions toward our children, they forgive and forget. It takes years to completely destroy their disposition to be good, kind, loving, and forgiving toward others. We adults do that. Their future sins are on our heads.
Who again are second-class human beings?
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Friday, January 13, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Unschooled Kids Will Be Different
A concern I've heard regarding unschooled kids is that "they'll be different". What is meant by this is that they won't have the same education, the same experiences, the same memories, the same cultural influences, yadda, yadda, yadda, as their "peers". In my opinion, that's just dandy.
Yes, they will be different, but to what end? Will their lives be harder? More stressful? Etc.? I don't believe so one whit. In fact, I believe the inverse is true. There are all sorts of benefits with the unschooling approach to life and learning that compulsory schooling can't match. While I believe the "education" part will actually be better, as their learning is interest-based and interest-based learning is harder to forget than rote memorization, unschooled kids develop initiative and problem solving skills far greater than compulsory-schooled kids. It's self-evident. Kids that are given the freedom to explore their curiosities are practicing initiative, and kids that are running into problems, say a road block of some sort, are more likely to solve them if they have a real interest in what they're trying to accomplish.
All well and good, but what I really wanted to touch on here can be explored via analogy. My wife's from Mexico City. She moved to the United States when she was 19. She lived in Chicago, and then moved to Salt Lake City 3 years later. While we were dating, we had all sorts of conversations about our lives. They were quite different. We grew up in different cultures and different countries. I still learn things about her life I didn't know from time to time. She's different. I'm different. So what?
When I gaze through my crystal ball into the future, I see my children as self-starting, hard-working, curious, always-learning, climbing to new heights, loving and respectful individuals. Their childhood will be different from most people they come into contact with. Their conversations will be that much more exciting and interesting. They'll learn all about what schooling was like, and others will learn all about what unschooling was like. Experiences will be shared, and relationships will be made.
I have several friends that grew up different than me. I have friends from Mexico, Finland, Guatemala, Peru, Nigeria, and several other places. As an adult, you meet people all the time that are different, come from different countries, from different cultures, with different educational backgrounds. It's a very small world and everybody is more easily connected with everybody else. Being different is what I've come to expect from people I meet. Being different is normal in the 21st century. Being different is good.
Yes, they will be different, but to what end? Will their lives be harder? More stressful? Etc.? I don't believe so one whit. In fact, I believe the inverse is true. There are all sorts of benefits with the unschooling approach to life and learning that compulsory schooling can't match. While I believe the "education" part will actually be better, as their learning is interest-based and interest-based learning is harder to forget than rote memorization, unschooled kids develop initiative and problem solving skills far greater than compulsory-schooled kids. It's self-evident. Kids that are given the freedom to explore their curiosities are practicing initiative, and kids that are running into problems, say a road block of some sort, are more likely to solve them if they have a real interest in what they're trying to accomplish.
All well and good, but what I really wanted to touch on here can be explored via analogy. My wife's from Mexico City. She moved to the United States when she was 19. She lived in Chicago, and then moved to Salt Lake City 3 years later. While we were dating, we had all sorts of conversations about our lives. They were quite different. We grew up in different cultures and different countries. I still learn things about her life I didn't know from time to time. She's different. I'm different. So what?
When I gaze through my crystal ball into the future, I see my children as self-starting, hard-working, curious, always-learning, climbing to new heights, loving and respectful individuals. Their childhood will be different from most people they come into contact with. Their conversations will be that much more exciting and interesting. They'll learn all about what schooling was like, and others will learn all about what unschooling was like. Experiences will be shared, and relationships will be made.
I have several friends that grew up different than me. I have friends from Mexico, Finland, Guatemala, Peru, Nigeria, and several other places. As an adult, you meet people all the time that are different, come from different countries, from different cultures, with different educational backgrounds. It's a very small world and everybody is more easily connected with everybody else. Being different is what I've come to expect from people I meet. Being different is normal in the 21st century. Being different is good.
Monday, January 2, 2012
The Socialization of Children
From time to time, I tell someone who doesn't already know, usually extended family, that we are keeping our kids home from school. They look puzzled until I use the word "homeschooling". Like clockwork, sooner or later, they mention the social aspect of schooling and why it's important that kids play with other kids. I respond, not wanting to get into anything, that we have play groups during the week.
Now, that's true, the play groups, but that's not a proper response to one's concern about socialization. Actually, I strongly believe, through logic and experience, that what kids learn in school is anti-socialization. But that's another post. What I wanted to briefly talk about here is proper socialization.
From the time they're born until they're about 18, children are preparing for the rest of their lives; in other words, they are preparing for adulthood. Part of that preparation is learning to communicate with other human beings. That's an important thing, communication. We're social animals, and socializing with others of our species is darn near vital to our survival.
"Kids need to learn to work with other kids," they say. "Why?", I must ask. "When will they be working with other kids as adults?" Haha! No, really, think about it. As adults, they won't be using working-with-kids skills, they'll be using working-with-adults skills. Right? In preparation for adulthood, shouldn't kids be among adults? Shouldn't they be learning to communicate with adults? Shouldn't their primary socialization be with adults? It's not a no-brainer until you put your brain on it. It makes complete sense. Now, give yourself a facepalm and say "Duh!".
Kids can't learn proper communication skills and socialization from other kids because those kids need to learn them too! They can only learn them from adults, and the most influential adults in their lives are their parents and other adult family members. That's who they should spend the most time with if our concern is learning communication skills and socialization.
The comment is always made, and it needs to be properly responded to. Of course, tact must be used. Sometimes it's not worth getting into a heated argument over. But there are those who are genuinely interested and open-minded enough to hear about this point of view. Give it to them.
(Cross-posted at Everything-Voluntary.com)
Now, that's true, the play groups, but that's not a proper response to one's concern about socialization. Actually, I strongly believe, through logic and experience, that what kids learn in school is anti-socialization. But that's another post. What I wanted to briefly talk about here is proper socialization.
From the time they're born until they're about 18, children are preparing for the rest of their lives; in other words, they are preparing for adulthood. Part of that preparation is learning to communicate with other human beings. That's an important thing, communication. We're social animals, and socializing with others of our species is darn near vital to our survival.
"Kids need to learn to work with other kids," they say. "Why?", I must ask. "When will they be working with other kids as adults?" Haha! No, really, think about it. As adults, they won't be using working-with-kids skills, they'll be using working-with-adults skills. Right? In preparation for adulthood, shouldn't kids be among adults? Shouldn't they be learning to communicate with adults? Shouldn't their primary socialization be with adults? It's not a no-brainer until you put your brain on it. It makes complete sense. Now, give yourself a facepalm and say "Duh!".
Kids can't learn proper communication skills and socialization from other kids because those kids need to learn them too! They can only learn them from adults, and the most influential adults in their lives are their parents and other adult family members. That's who they should spend the most time with if our concern is learning communication skills and socialization.
The comment is always made, and it needs to be properly responded to. Of course, tact must be used. Sometimes it's not worth getting into a heated argument over. But there are those who are genuinely interested and open-minded enough to hear about this point of view. Give it to them.
(Cross-posted at Everything-Voluntary.com)